I’ve had a revelation. No, no, read on! It’s a thing that’s been taking shape in my head for a while, and once it lodged, I achieved a certain peace of mind. It’s not a nutty theory like reptiloid aliens infiltrating our governments, but rather a simple, statistical fact. Ready for enlightenment? Here we go:

95% of everything is crap. You’re welcome!

I don’t know about you, but I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out, or even trying to like, things that others seem to find important. But you know what? 95 percent of those people are idiots. Once you apply the 95% rule to everything, you can actually focus on the 5% that will matter to you. Some examples:

95% of all art/books/TV/movies is crap. There, you just earned yourself a full extra week of free time by not watching another season of 2½ Men.

Only 5% of all clothes that is supposed to be your size will actually fit. And out of that, you will not like 95%.

95% of the internet is stupid, or a lie. Actually, this is one of the points that make me think 95 percent is a conservative number.

95% of all music produced sucks ass. It wasn’t better before, time has just filtered out some of the crap. Plus, if Mozart had a Bandcamp page he would be pounding out a black metal album a week, and 95% of them would be shit.

5% of all IKEA furniture comes with only 95% of the required parts.

95% of everything is an utter waste of your time. It’s as simple as that. Don’t even think about how bad the Independence Day sequel is going to be, because it’ll make your soul rot and give you brain Ebola. Just don’t go there.

If you focus on the good (which, incidentally, may be the exact opposite of what I like) and entirely disregard the bad, and the stupid, and the godawful, you will find that peace of mind I was talking about, which allows you to enjoy what you like without interference.

Mind, I said earlier that 95% may be a low measure for the crap total of everything, but it allows for the unknowns, the things or people or trappings you don’t know about, but might actually like. So don’t lock yourself up with Brahms, Orwell, and a VSOP just yet.

PS, 95% of the above is conjecture.